


Limited Observations of Vampire Physiology

by Taxonamie



Series: Hellsing Revamp [2]
Category: Dracula - Bram Stoker, Hellsing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 07:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17762432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taxonamie/pseuds/Taxonamie
Summary: Ever wanted to read an over-wrought fake scientific article about vampire biology? This is the thing for you!In this thrilling installment I'm going to pretend my degree was useful by describing a fantasy creature with science terms, and spend too much time looking for data I don't really need!





	1. Abstract and Subject Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> All of these 'observations' are rules I play by in my greater work, Hellsing Revamp, but would never come up in the actual story itself, so I have them squirreled away here for your convenience.  
> Okay guys this one is a little weird, and just to cover my bases I wanted to tackle some disclaimers. I don’t have any formal experience with getting IRL papers published, or detailed knowledge the strict requirements of zoological journals. Not even in our modern day.  
> I also have no idea if the writing style of this paper accurately mimics science articles from ~1896.  
> So what I’m saying is that this is a weird patchwork of pseudo-modern, semi-informal, anachronistic writing, trying to mimic a rough draft of a scientific article.  
> This was pretty self-indulgent and got started when some dark hidden part of me admitted that she missed writing papers for her degree and the feeling of mock-professionalism when she got good marks.  
> I’ve included a messy footnotes area. More anacronism because this is for fun.  
> Also I left out the ‘methods’ section because I didn’t feel like writing it. don’t @ me  
> So enjoy!

In an immaculate filing cabinet in a temperature- and humidity-controlled room, there is a collection of papers. Most of them are from the late 1800s and early 1900s, a few of them are much older than that, their edges broken and pages yellowed. 

One of these texts is what appears to be a rough draft of some scientific topic writing. The body of the writing is in an elegant, impeccable hand, as precise as a typewriter and natural as the flowing pattern of silt at the bottom of a stream. Each header topic is embellished with an effortlessly complex flourish.

On top of this writing are edits and comments in a different hand, with corrections, additions and questions, noted with the initials " _AH"_.

The title of the manuscript is in conservative sized lettering. Underneath it, in a large, auspicious hand, is the name of the author,

**_Wladislaus Dragula_ **

and co-author,

**_Dr. Abraham van Helsing_ **

  
  
  
  


Limited Observations of Vampire Physiology

 

**_Abstract_ **

 

In this study the researcher will remark on the unique features and characteristics of a single vampire subject.

The physiology of many median organisms are specifically suited to their lifestyles, and influence their behavior accordingly. It is natural that medians, often hunted by their prey and by other medians, prefer to keep themselves and others in ignorance regarding these particular extraordinary features of their own magi-biology* as a measure of self preservation. While this preference is understandable, the result is that the many varied and fascinating morphologies of the Median world are woefully under-recorded. This study is a series of observations performed on the only willing participant this researcher had regular access to: themself.

 

**_Subject_ **

 

Vampires are nocturnal, hematophagous medians, that feed primarily by either luring or ambushing human prey, biting the neck’s exposed arteries, and consuming the blood directly. Vampires are not formally classified in Linnaean binomial taxonomy, but this researcher shall refer to the species as a subspecies of  _ Homo sapiens _ , and shall refer to it informally as  _ Homo sapiens strigoi.  _

The voluntary study subject is a Vampire of an approximate age of 600 years, middle age at the time of death. He did not have a sire, and instead was turned spontaneously at the point of death. This is not unheard of, though it is exceptionally rare.**

This makes him both an excellent and insufficient subject. He is both an exaggerated form to which human morphology is easily compared, and a poor representation of vampires in general due to his unique form and singular experiences. However, more transient experiences with other specimens, such as rivals or offspring, have shown the researcher that the qualities being remarked upon in this study are not unique to this subject. 

 

 


	2. Oral Orafice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yall better appreciate this, I went and found VISUAL AIDS

**_Oral orifice_ **

 

**_Kineticism_ **

The subject is able to unhinge his mandible from his cranium, dislocating the ~~-~~ ~~jaw from the skull-~~ ( _AH: condylar process from the mandibular fossa, and features a reduced coronoid process)_ . This allows a much greater gape to encompass prey, at the expense of overall bite strength. Dislocated max gape and bite pressure are significantly different from non-dislocated data (Fig. 1) _(AH: different how? Specify that bite pressure is reduced, and gape increased)_

Here the exceptional nature of the subject becomes a burden, as the bite force of this individual is known to be greater than other _H. s. strigoi._ However, as there are no other recorded bite strengths of _H. s. strigoi_ subjects to which this subject can be compared. Anecdotally, the subject has been able to break the bone of _H. sapiens_  with the force of his bite alone.

In addition to greater longitudinal (between the upper and lower jaw) gape, _H. s. strigoi_  has independently kinetic mandibles. The mandibular symphysis between left and right mandibles does not exist. There exist bony protuberances for each mandible to latch onto the other, but during feeding they disconnect and spread, allowing the vampire a wider, deeper bite onto prey. Despite this morphology, the lower incisors are not noticeably affected. They appear naturally together, indistinguishable from _H. sapiens_.

In addition to the two aforementioned kinetic qualities of the mandibles, the canine tooth itself can extend from its resting state to an extended state, projecting an additional distance above the gumline.

_Diagram of fused mandible, indicating coronoid process and mandibular symphasis_

 

**_Dentition_ **

The incisors appear human, and there is no noticeable gap between the front incisors of the mandible, despite its kineticism.

Unextended, the crown of _H. s. strigoi_ canine teeth, 13.3mm, are perhaps a little longer than the average _H. sapiens_ , but certainly are within _H. sapiens_ possibility, (average _H. sapiens_ crown length 10.6mm). They are not capable of feeding or causing significant damage in this state.

They extend at the moment of arousal to 28mm, a length far more suited to piercing the outer veins of their prey.

The mechanism of this extension is not clear, but it appears to be magical in nature, given that the profile of the tooth itself changes to become narrower and longer, not simply extending from a retracted position within the jaw.

Adjacent to each canine tooth, there is a single unmodified premolar. This researcher suspects that this tooth serves a dual purpose. Firstly, it exists to mimic _H. sapiens_ dentition, and ensures that _H. s. strigoi_ is not revealed during conversation. Secondly, the premolars ~~meet~~ _occlude_ so as to prevent the remaining posterior teeth from scraping into each other.

The remaining posterior teeth are heavily modified. Each crest of each tooth--2 for the premolars, four on each molar--is instead replaced with a slender, recurved tooth that is oriented posteriorly, to ensure that prey does not escape its grasp. This results in a total of 56 recurved, snake-like teeth. These teeth do not occlude directly, and instead the rows rest between each other perfectly.  

_Diagram of python skull showing clear recurved teeth_

**_Feeding Behavior_ **

Lethal feeding behavior--excluding the luring, hunting, or nonlethal feeding methods--involves three major steps.

Firstly, the subject will either cut or bite through the trachea, between the cartilaginous ribs that protect against crushing. The primary purpose of this is to prevent the prey from alarming others, and allows the remainder of the feeding to occur undisturbed.

Secondly, the subject will unhinge his jaw, separate his mandibles, and extend his fangs. He will take a single parallel bite, carefully aligning all four fangs into left and right carotid arteries of his prey. He will release this bite, and then move onto the third part.

Lastly, he will move the prey’s throat more securely into his mouth and hook the small pointed teeth into the neck, establishing a seal with his lips and ensuring no escape or significant struggle as he sucks the blood out of his victim. The entire process takes approximately five minutes, but can take more or less time depending on if the subject chooses to completely drain his victim, or is interrupted.

 


End file.
